*sigh* Or not.
I generally think that I'm a somewhat talented person (in a not conceited way, of course) but I wish I weren't so awful at so many little things. Like hammering. Or volleyball. Or computer formatting. Or brushing my hair. I'm sick of all these tiny little incapabilities adding up and making me feel horrible about myself. I want to become a master of trivial talents. I guess, like every other human being on the planet, I want to be good at everything, but I don't need to be good. I just need to be able.
The I Suck Abyss has drawn me in and swallowed me, and I'm standing at the bottom trying to find a light of some sort. Or a ledge to help me crawl out. Or... insert crappy metaphor here.
Perhaps I'll compile a list of things that I AM good at. All though that would be rather repulsively narcisstic and stupid. Maybe I'll hire someone to compile a list of things I am good at.
Until then, I suppose I'll cheer myself up with all the things I have to look forward to:
-the looks on the faces of everyone in desk pub when I start curling my hair tomorrow
-the excitement and horrors of opening night, and the awesome-ness of the sure to be empty second show, and cast partying.
-all the lovelylovelylovely BOOKS coming in the mail this week (CITY OF GLASS *GIRLISH SQUEAL*)
-Party hopping next friday!
-seeing anna when she comes and picks us up from school each day for our adventures of awesomeness
-spring break/SEEING EMILEA (we are seeing you, emilea!!!)
-writing/filming the lauren movie. :)
-April. April and whatever April brings. Because however much I want to go (and i think we all know that i want to go more than anything), I have a great life. And I could have an amazing two years right here with the people I love the most and the place that I've at least made peace with. So no matter what that letter says, it's an oppertunity for me to start doing everything I want to without holding back because I don't know where I'll be four months from now. I know that whichever way this goes it will be bittersweet, but I'm hoping for the best. And I know that waiting is always the worst part, so I'm ready for it to be over.
Anyway, I love you all and I miss you two. And I hope (and know) that I'll see ALL of you soon enough.
Caroline
4 comments:
You're good at LOTS of things! Forget Paul. You know him. He wasn't REALLY making fun of you. He's just being his weird, funny self. He's being Mr. Knightley (except, of course, that if he TRULY was adopting George's character, he would've swooped in with assistance, but not in an overbearing Thomas way).
I would list all the things you're good at, but then I'd be here for a few hours, and I've got to start annotating short stories!
Heather
eughte:...at a loss here. If you want to help define it, feel free!
Maybe not a ledge. Maybe a rope thrown down by the people who love you? Because we do. And you don't suck, and we'd be happy to tell you any time you need it.
I should be arriving Monday afternoon and leaving Thursday afternoon. I can't wait!!!
-Anna
I'm here because I've just remembered that I've forgotten where Metaphysical I Spy came from...oh! Scratch that! Paper Towns!
haha. I'm ridiculous. And have fallen to the dark side. I just admitted that stopping time would be better than portals right now. :(
Heather
ougologi: (n.) 1 a form of study that analyzes the teenage mind and why it decides as it does 2 a particular tract of the teenage mind that examines the ridiculots.
i posted on don't fret! please comment!
much love,
emilea
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